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This is a text widget. The Text Widget allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. You can use a text widget to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. Edit them in the Widget section of the Customizer.

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This is a text widget. The Text Widget allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. You can use a text widget to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. Edit them in the Widget section of the Customizer.

Star Dusted Lens

  • decomposing matter

    March 27, 2020 by

    I want to write again, but I’m afraid I no longer know how. Words and phrases fill my head, but instead of the ease that they would spill onto the page, into stories and wondrous phrases, they come out FLAT and jumbled together. So I decided to bury them inside of me, instead of facing their hideous appearance. But instead of disappearing, the words started to die within me. I thought they would feed my insides with their substance, but they caused everything else to grow damp and overwhelmed at the decomposing matter. No matter my effort to rid myself… Read more

  • Land of the sick, home of the broken

    March 17, 2020 by

    It’s been in the land of the sick for a long time. At first I was an obedient guest, but I’ve overstayed my welcome. In this land, there are so many rooms and houses I’ve spent time in. For a while, I was pounding death’s door. My mind was in turmoil, my heart faintly beating, and my spirit was ready to be embraced by sweet death, an end to the suffering. I’ve been in the room of denial, pretending that my body and my mind weren’t altered, and masking my pain with a faint smile, which friends couldn’t see past.… Read more

  • Ode to my first car

    March 13, 2020 by

    My Toyota Rav4 I bought you when my world was turning sour and I was crying nightly in my bed, lost and confused you came as an escape from the pain and hot tears and you brought me to a sleepy, wet city that washed away my frown and replaced it with memories of joy, great coffee, and chasing the best running highs in your interior I shed tears from job disappointments and rejection and together we traveled to new heights: the majestic mountains of Oregon and down to the coast You took us to Cape Kwanda where I stood… Read more

  • strong independent woman

    February 27, 2020 by

    Remember that fateful night, when we collided? I was looking to get back at an on-again, off-again flame. You caught my eye in your sexy lifeguarding uniform. We struck a conversation and it all seemed effortless. Like the universe was conspiring for us to meet. That night I remember looking at you in the car, and I told you you looked like Jessie McCartney with your big smile and your blue eyes. When we hugged that night, I felt electricity surge through me. I was so taken by you. I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted to spend… Read more

  • seperation

    February 4, 2020 by

    How could you leave me at my lowest, at my darkest? I thought you were my keeper, but you turned your face to my tears and shut your ears to my whimpers of pain. I told you I needed you. I told you that I didn’t have anyone else. But you chose to stay silent, you chose to stay away. I didn’t know how to go on and I didn’t want to go on. I wanted me to end and I prayed for me to end. I whispered to you that I dreamed about the end. You said I was… Read more

  • Cinderelly, Cinderelly

    January 29, 2020 by

    Every girl has a favorite Disney princess growing up, and mine was Cinderella. Her story was so relatable. She was poor, worked so hard, and faced many misfortunes, but one day she was gifted new life in the form of love with a conveniently rich, handsome prince who swept her off her feet and they rode off into the sunset together. I wanted this fairy tale ending so much. Growing up my family was so poor. My parents came to the states with very little, a few photo albums, an oriental rug that was hung up in the living room… Read more

  • When you keep losing…

    November 13, 2019 by

    I feel stuck. Stuck in my misery, stuck in my sickness. These past few years have been one set back after another, which eventually ended up with me living back at my parent’s house, unable to work, unable to do much physically and mentally. All these ambitions and dreams inside of me withered, I feel like a ghost floating around. Though worst. I’m in the land of the living but I’m not living. I’m in this body that used to do so much, yet now is capable of so little. Small endeavors leave my head in pain and my body… Read more

  • A few of my favorite things…

    October 15, 2019 by

    Recovering from trauma is a long, hard, and more often non-linear road to well-being. Family, close community, and God keep me going forward, but some days seem hard and impossible to overcome. Lately, there are a few things that make my days a little bit lighter. SKIN I’m a huge clear skin fanatic. Since I had bad acne in college, I’ve been on the search for ways to get the flawless complexion I’ve always dreamed of. EMU OIL – this is non-comedogenic (non-pore clogging) oil does wonders for your skin! It’s light and I use it almost every day. I… Read more

  • Purpose from evil & suffering

    September 24, 2019 by

    “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” Genesis 50:20 A short note on suffering. I don’t believe the cliche that “everything happens for a reason”. This saying is frequently thrown out, but it’s attempts to comfort become trivial in the wake of real tragedy: my mother’s cancer, my father’s abuse, my struggle with jobs, the sexual assault I endured, & the brain trauma I faced last year. It cannot adequately explain the increasing violence, mass shootings, suicides, illnesses,… Read more

  • 28 Lessons for 28 years

    September 24, 2019 by

    Buy yourself flowers, they can brighten up the saddest days & moments, & can ease your suffering. Be realistic with yourself of what you can accomplish in your current circumstance. Do not create extra stress on yourself with unrealistic expectations, especially if you’ve gone through a recent traumatizing or stressful situation. Knowing your limits will eventually help you overcome them, & lead to more current happiness. Usually, less is more. Bold lipstick can make you feel more confident, even on the most daunting days. Do something/anything, instead of being paralyzed by doubt & overthinking. Take that less than perfect job,… Read more

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